Are you looking for a solution for how to survive your husband’s retirement? If so, you’re not alone. Many of us have concerns and questions about how to handle our husband’s retirement.
With that said, the best way to ensure your survival is to check in with yourself first. That’s because the only person you have control over is yourself.
You don’t have control over your husband or his retirement.
It’s up to you to make the decision to thrive, not simply survive.
It’s important for you to maintain your well-being. And at the same time be considerate of your husband.
It could be challenging if you have a couch potato for a husband or one who always seems bored.
However, your husband’s seeming inability to occupy himself shouldn’t put you in a bad mood. Transitioning into retirement can be difficult for anyone. But is generally more difficult for men than for women.
Your husband may simply feel lost with his newfound life. Understanding this may go a long way to surviving your husband’s retirement.
5 Tips for Adjusting to Your Husband’s Retirement
I’ve been married to the same man for almost 50 years. Eighteen of those have been semi-retired/retired.
I’ve learned a lot about how to survive your husband’s retirement.
Along with the knowledge I’ve gathered from others, here are a few nuggets of wisdom from my own experience.
No. 1 – Start your day with positivity.
We’ve all experienced getting up on the wrong side of the bed. And we also know that it likely leads to a bad mood all day. So, before arising, take a few minutes for yourself while still lying in bed.
Choose morning activities that motivate and inspire you. Listen to motivational speakers, exercise, read something inspiring, or keep a gratitude journal.
Stretch, meditate, and visualize how you would like your day to progress in a positive manner. Cultivate a morning routine that gives your life meaning, It can be simple, but ideally, it should be something that gives your day purpose.
Dress for the day and plan to get outdoors regardless of the weather.
Carve out time for yourself. And schedule a time to work on a special project or hobby that grounds you.
No. 2 – Embrace change.
Retirement is challenging. Your lifestyle will likely be different than before. If you’re unwilling to embrace the changes that come with it, you are setting yourself up for misery.
With that said, it’s true that your husband’s retirement can be an intrusion into your domain.
This could be especially true if you’ve worked from home most of your life. It can drive you nuts having him around 24/7! Even if you’ve had a career outside of the home, it’s likely that you’ve run the household. And it’s been according to your schedule.
Additionally, you probably have a routine that’s worked well for years. You’ve scheduled time for work, chores, errands, cooking, and so on. Suddenly, now that your husband is retired, he expects you to be available at his convenience. He wants you to be available for conversation, a walk, or an outing he wants to enjoy together. He seems incapable of occupying himself.
Instead of demanding your life remain the same, it’s important for your happiness to be flexible and go with the flow.
This doesn’t mean that embracing change falls completely on your shoulders. It’s your husband’s responsibility to embrace change as well.
Each partner’s needs should be met with mutual respect. This is paramount for a successful retirement.
Embrace change. Be flexible. Change up your routine. I think you’ll be happy you did.
No. 3 – Create space for yourself.
We all need time where we can be alone and recharge. If you’re constantly with your husband, you may feel overwhelmed. With so much together time, you may find yourself resenting his retirement.
Having said that, more often than not, my husband and I spend time together. We grocery shop, enjoy outdoor recreation, have long conversations, and so on. It’s great building a strong, loving bond.
However, it’s important to respect each other’s space.
That said, I need more space than Rebel Retiree. It required a lot of communication to reach a comfortable retirement lifestyle balance.
Now, he respects my space and understands when I retreat to work in my office. In turn, I make time for his sharing the news throughout the day.
Set boundaries. And communicate your needs to create space for a happy retirement.
No. 4 – Spend quality time with your husband.
Many men say they anticipate retirement and look forward to spending time with their wives. Their careers have ended and what better way to spend the day than hang out with one’s wife?
It’s disappointing for a man to retire and discover he’s become a nuisance to his wife. This results in hurt feelings. Boredom often sets in.
Consider whether you are kinder to your friends than you are to your husband.
It’s important to remember that you are friends and shared dreams as a young couple. Together, you’ve been through thick and thin. Retirement is an ideal time to strengthen your relationship.
Make time for your husband as you would a close friend.
Read: Help Your Husband Overcome Fear of Retirement Boredom
No. 5 – Communication is key.
Communication with your spouse is the key to a successful retirement. Work together to create the desired outcome that is pleasant for both of you.
Communication is a two-way street. Additionally, good communication is the key to any successful relationship.
Don’t let issues go unresolved until they fester into major resentment. Try to rekindle whatever brought you together in the first place.
- Have a date night and find an activity that you both enjoy
- Discuss what each of you values for retirement
- Be a good listener
- Make time for your husband
- Involve yourself with something that your husband enjoys. Try to be open-minded, even if you don’t appreciate the activity.
Rest assured you are not alone if you dread being with your husband 24 hours a day. Realistically, a husband can get on your nerves. This is likely if they have unrealistic expectations of retirement.
The simple solution is to embrace change, be flexible, and encourage communication. Retirement should be a harmonious experience for both husband and wife.
Respect each other’s space and remember that you started out as best friends. If you choose to follow these suggestions, you’ll find you’ll have a happy retirement. You will thrive, not simply survive!
I don’t think any of us want to get to the end of life regretting our choices. It would be sad if we gave more value to washing dishes than taking a walk along the beach with our husbands.
Last Updated 10/04/22
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